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I keep forgetting that I have this. And I also keep thinking about how I need to start journalling. Do those two braincells ever meet? No. No they do not.
My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. This is usually a really shitty time for me. My ex-spouse, Grackle, was awful about my birthday. When I was 16, I was really excited because I'd just moved back to the states, I had a friend group for the first time in forever. I was making plans.
So I guess I talked about it a lot, and one of my friends told me "oh my god, Sun, we KNOW. You can shut up about it." So I did. Aaaaand the day came and went. No one remembered. No one even said happy birthday. Not even my family. They remembered a month later lol. It fucked me up.
Grackle knew this, and he knew I got antsy around my birthday because of how bad it messed me up. One year, our therapist mentioned we should try and celebrate it this year. Make it a thing. For weeks worth of sessions we talked about how to make it a good deal.
Grackle forgot.
And then had the audacity to say he thought that I wanted to just ignore it this year. dude. Dude.
Anyhow, so that's why I put icy hot in his fleshlight when we divorced.
So when it came up this year, T and Libra made a point to make it a good one. T, still being on the wrong side of the country, sent me all kinds of stuff, including a beanbag chair that is bigger than a sofa. Libra got me a board game, came on a hike with me, and then went to dinner and played said board game. It was really good. I'm hoping that I get to have more things like this going forward...
I have a lot more to say, but I think I'm gonna zone out watching spooky videos and playing Stardew Valley instead.
My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. This is usually a really shitty time for me. My ex-spouse, Grackle, was awful about my birthday. When I was 16, I was really excited because I'd just moved back to the states, I had a friend group for the first time in forever. I was making plans.
So I guess I talked about it a lot, and one of my friends told me "oh my god, Sun, we KNOW. You can shut up about it." So I did. Aaaaand the day came and went. No one remembered. No one even said happy birthday. Not even my family. They remembered a month later lol. It fucked me up.
Grackle knew this, and he knew I got antsy around my birthday because of how bad it messed me up. One year, our therapist mentioned we should try and celebrate it this year. Make it a thing. For weeks worth of sessions we talked about how to make it a good deal.
Grackle forgot.
And then had the audacity to say he thought that I wanted to just ignore it this year. dude. Dude.
Anyhow, so that's why I put icy hot in his fleshlight when we divorced.
So when it came up this year, T and Libra made a point to make it a good one. T, still being on the wrong side of the country, sent me all kinds of stuff, including a beanbag chair that is bigger than a sofa. Libra got me a board game, came on a hike with me, and then went to dinner and played said board game. It was really good. I'm hoping that I get to have more things like this going forward...
I have a lot more to say, but I think I'm gonna zone out watching spooky videos and playing Stardew Valley instead.
